RiotIntoSymphony's Xanga

CPR

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:28:07 GMT

lets get this bitch back on her feet

Open

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:23:21 GMT

it's come to my attention recently... that I was closed. Everything I had was closed - my door, the windows... even my heart. I kept the glass neat and shiny, but the edges were always grimy and hard to look through. Hazy, that was how I was seen. Real but still you had to take a guess as to what was really there.

I'm done with that sort of thing. Honesty was always up there in my run of morals, but it was always a high step. You had to climb pretty high to get it from me. I was always an actor, always afraid of what people would think. Not what they'd think about my past, my present... what they'd think of /me/. God forbid, I could throw caution to the wind when it came to risking my life but when it came TO my life? No, keep it hidden, buried in an onion-web of allusions and detours.

Or maybe I'm just tired. I'm not sure. These past few months I have been questioning and second-guessing. not just myself, but everything. God, my parents, why there are laws, even when Chicken Noodle Soup is the undeclared cure for the common cold. I've stopped whining and begging and pleading. No answers, no solace, only questions remain to fog up the glass.

I should be packing, getting ready to lose myself in favor of helping out others. My yearly sabbatical to the camp beckons and I'm still wondering if I should just go lay down and take a nap. Just one more hour, just another five minutes.... another another another. Can I ever be satisfied?

Please God, I hope so.

I think my Rambling's done for now.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 21:04:23 GMT

This is not a victory march

it's a cold and it's a broken

Hallelujah

Ride from A to B

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 16:26:37 GMT

Ring around the what, again?
Speak a little louder, dear friend
My feet are anxious and this reality is seering
And you are always dissapearing

Brand me, Brand me - but not now
- Hush - you do so well, to speak of the end
And keep me in your thoughts, keep you on your toes
Who what when? where? No one really knows

Go north, east west, or south
Go up, or down, or around the bend
You can take a train or take a car
Buy a plain or walk if it's not too far

Down, down, down we ride!
Over and over and over again
Left, right, you can't decide!
Over and over and over again...

Speak, a little louder my friend
But you always dissapear

In. the. end.

Some old SnH

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 13:46:22 GMT

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

The Reflective

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 06:08:58 GMT

You could tell by the way she looked
How the way her brow furrowed
That she was deep, deep in reflection
Dipping into a pool of second-guesses
&& regrets &&

And how I wanted to help her
Tell her it'd be okay
But I'm not a liar
and Sugar coating never helped anyone

But I, too, was deep in thought
So deep indeed, but I was
already used to swimming into dangerous water
Where you could not see your feet
But you knew. You knew.

Hopefully the lighthouse, the guide to what she left behind
Will keep her in her reverie
Keep her out amongst the waves
Out amongst the Tempest.
I hope she stays LOST.
Until she can be found on her own accord,

Because good things come with time,
that doesnt mean they come on time

The Iconic Update

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:37:19 GMT

I just wish that I could and not seem so Twisted but still feel ugly

which is just the sad and yet perception I have on life.

I'm sick of being caught with I didn't even tell. and if I can be a where the hell is the sky I'm supposed to see the limit of?

And I wish I knew the art of But I keep catching myself sighing and saying I don't want to say that!

I want to think like a child and believe but I'm so stuck between that life I had and

the life I'm gonna get. Well at least I'm It's just like my heart's up for target practie and I'm all about standing in the way. I wish I was But I still wake up every day

And I say every single day but I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm just fed up

with working and realizing and all I really want is the one thing I won't admit is worth it.

SO until I get it together, still and no one can tell me different.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 23:44:55 GMT

Okay so just got back from the movie theater was plannign to see Gridiron Gang, but the timing was off so I went and saw the movie Crank instead OH MY FREAKING DUDE what a kickass movie yeah it was rated R and yeah I aint 18 but dammit what the hell! yeah just so everyone knows I'm wired right now and I've had to hit the backspace button more than i have hit all the other keys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

. . . . I got a cute outfit from Hot Topic today this red and black checkered skirt and this effing awesome shirt that says "Those who fear love fear life and those that fear life are already three parts dead" W00t I so kickass right now thats right thats right!!!!

. . . I swaer its adrenaline, not cocaine! Even if Mrs. Rice taught us how to make meth and crack, that's a totally diff't convo that I don't have the attention span to type!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Gah... so spastic, gonna go jump around. <3 Whitt

The Howl

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 02:34:11 GMT

Look at us...

| | who are we again? | |

rebels, stoners, constant boners
shoulda coulda wouldas

Cheerleaders, band geeks
Dorks and Brothers and plaited, with streaks

misunderstood

Hackers and slackers
do-gooders and back-stabbers
Spot light junkies && wannabes &&

Unknowns , anonymous

claustrophobic, homophobic

Closet Poets Famous one-night stands

The Past The Present The Future The Hopeless The doctors and the lawyers

The jaded and hated and fated and ill

The pure and the raw and the true and the blue

The ones who willingly or shamefully swallow the pill Just so you can rest easy.

Lost causes "the one, the only"

Dreamers and screamers, Believes, Deceivers

Incarcerated, our temples desecrated

Jeopardize and hypnotized, Stereotyped and over hyped

Runnin’ on empty though the sign says “full”

Preaching through our T-shirts and Eating up Social Dirt

Filling our lungs with Polluted air

Deafening our ears with non-sense

That’s perfectly clear, perfectly crystal to our minds

Relate to us, abide in us

Shun us and stun us and speak to us be MOVED by us

As we move and we gather and we flock you won’t move with us you - can’t move with us - because we carry a beat all our own that you cannot shut down

Yet you give us candid masks Nothing is what it seems In the halls and the nooks and the crannies we gather in

The Place where we’re kept in a corner huddled together safe and naïve until all of a sudden - a bolt of lightening - we’re flushed out and the Gentle Mother’s hand is ushering and firm in intent her eyes watery as we come to realize we’re children no more

No children of a lesser god

Children of a GREATER god

Children of no god

…Children no more

We run from our pasts but get sandwiched in by our futures and

The “now” won’t back away from us, won’t give us breathing space on the sides or gaps to

Slip through and make an escape.

With no ceiling we cry out but perpetual black blots out our prayers like

Ink on a paper pure as the driven snow, graced with the transcendent

Pleasures of the human soul that knowing hands

Have woven into the Book of Life through a gritty over-used pen and Cheshire tears…

We separate and congregate our eyes search for mirrors in other eyes,

Understanding in other voices and our

Arms and our joints and our eyes and our minds brush against each other and

Lock and join together and

Together

We are back in our corners and no one can ever shoo us out.

And they and we and us and them all feed off each other!

We bicker and fight and we love and we hate because in the end

We are used to this

And we some how compliment each other in some pitifully, ironic little way. For we have learned to cope with this state of humanity, being human in an inhumane world.

“Lead us not into temptation” words most have let die on our lips like ill-fated sighs

As our hopes are siphoned off to an easier pool that we can

Wade in and out of without the “fear” of drowning.

But our ignorant 3-Deminsional vision does not reveal the water taking us in, pulling us under but we are comfortable and it works.

The wonder-wall illusion keeps us flush and thriving our veins taut and weary but ever in use because for our blood to flow any different for our hearts to beat any different for US to fully find the same beat the same low, lurid, tranquil beat, means that they have won.

& we are dashing, dashing, dashing in our blue suede shoes – no, no blue suede shoes. We have Tims and Chucks and Vans and Ninewests and we have beads, jewelry, we have chains we dance in the pouring rain from the

Red red fire hydrant on East and Main and its in the

Sunlight we mingle with rainbows and we are one mass of young people who at that moment

Subconsciously

Unconsciously

Obviously

Set our social standard

Long before we realize we’re the generation that sets the steps for the next

| | who are we again? | |

Look at us. Look.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 14:26:46 GMT

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

There's all these cracks

Crack of sunlight

Crack in the mirror on your lips

It's the moment of a sunset Friday

When our conversations twist

It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo

But the ice should be on our heads

We only spun the wheel to catch ourselves

So we weren't left for death

And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you

And though this journey is over I'll go back if you ask me to

I'm not dead just floating

Right between the ink of your tattoo

In the belly of the beast we turned into

I'm not scared just changing

Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile

You're my crack of sunlight

You can do the math a thousand ways but you can't erase the facts

That others come and others go but you always come back

I'm a winter flower underground always thirsty for summer rain

And just like the change of seasons

I know you'll be back again

I'm not dead just floating

Underneath the ink of my tattoo

I've tried to hide my scars from you

I'm not scared just changing

Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile

You're my crack of sunlight oh

I'm not dead just yet

I'm not dead I'm just floating

Doesn't matter where I'm going

I'll find you

I'm not scared at all

Underneath the cuts and bruises

Finally gained what no one loses

I'll find you

I will find you

I'm not dead just floating

I'm not scared just changing

You're my crack of sunlight yeah

-Face lifts rawk.